how i sold my funny essay collection

it is time for my juicy tell-all

Good morning from beautiful Chicago. Before we dig in, two quick reminders:

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how i sold my book: from start to finish

me with book <3

It’s been almost a year since my debut essay collection shot into the world, covered in my blood and guts and weighing in at a healthy ~1.4 pounds. If my book were a human baby, I’d be buying it a smash cake. I’d be inviting my friends over to stare at the baby and say things like “Excellent baby, very nice.” Instead, I’m writing out this big, juicy FAQ based on questions I get from folks hoping to break into publishing.

If you have questions about any of this, or there’s *anything*—ANYTHING—I didn’t cover, please please put it in the comments or reply to this email directly! I love talking about publishing and will do everything I can to demystify it for you.

How did you get the idea for your book?

I did this a little backward. Most folks write the book (or write the proposal) and take that idea to an agent seeking representation. I was very lucky—my agent reached out to me after one of my humor pieces (this one) went semi-viral. I had been in talks with another agent prior to that, but she was looking for a full proposal before signing me, and I didn’t have that. The person who would become my agent was willing to work with me to develop an idea loosely based on the humor piece and, subsequently, a proposal, over the course of the next year. She is amazing and I would die for her.

We didn’t end up pitching the book as a joke book. Instead, we leaned into the Y2K nostalgia and awkward sweatiness of it all and developed an essay collection.

How long did it take you to write your proposal?

A full year. It was the height of the pandemic and I felt completely insane. My agent was extraordinarily patient with me. In the end, my proposal was around 30 pages, with three sample essays and three sample humor pieces.

How long did it take to sell the book?

Again, very lucky on this front. My agent took the book to market the first week of August and pitched to 21 different editors at different imprints. We heard back very quickly (not normal!!!) and were scheduled to take five calls with editors, but only took three because the first call resulted in a pre-empt (more on that below). We had the offer within about a week and a half of going on submission. This is not normal and I don’t expect to have this experience again! Books can be on sub anywhere from weeks to months. I was very, very lucky and spoiled with my first submission experience. Chalk it up to my agent’s incredible pitch vibes!!!

What’s a pre-empt?

A preemptive offer, or pre-empt, is an offer from an editor to take your book off the market before anyone else can snatch it. It needs to be financially compelling enough to tempt you away from calls with other editors and prevents your book from going to auction.

How much moneyyyyyyyyy

I can’t share this publicly until I sell my next one BUT I will tell you if you email me directly and are normal about it :)

How long did it take you get paid?

My contract specified three payments, which is pretty standard: one payment upon signing with my publisher, one payment upon submitting my approved manuscript, and one payment at publication. As for when that money actually *hit my bank account* — the first payment hit about a month after I signed; the second hit about four months after submitting my first manuscript draft; the third hit quickly, a few weeks after my pub date. I made a TikTok about this!

How long did it take to write the actual book?

I sold my book on proposal, which means I had to actually write the thing after selling it. My contract gave me a full year to submit my full manuscript. I ended up submitting a draft about a month before it was due, but the draft was DRAFTY. I knew I needed editorial support on the draft, so I sent it in early to get edits back.

Did you use beta readers?

No, but I wish I had. ICYMI, beta readers are trusted peers who read your work before you submit to your agent or editor. I was such a newbie to the literary world that I genuinely did not even know you could ask for that sort of help. You can, and you should, and I will not publish another book without it. It makes your work better!

Okay, I think that’s all from the selling perspective. I’m planning a few other FAQs re: book release, publicity, etc. But, again, if you have specific questions, please drop them in the comments!

thanks for reading, see you soon, kiss me <3

lil