Our pets' HEADS ARE FALLIN' OFF

panning for gold in a river of turds

my boys. my sweet boys

Dumb & Dumber (1994) is a shining beacon of cinema for anyone navigating their Flop Era. Over the course of a week, Harry Dunne and Lloyd Christmas get fired, lose their glamorous vehicle, attract the attention of literal assassins, experience crushing romantic rejection, and endure a series of bad hair days that I, personally, would not survive. Amid the chaos, Jim Carrey delivers the line that would define a generation: “We got no food; we got no jobs; our pets’ HEADS ARE FALLIN’ OFF!!!!!!!!!”

Sound, uh… familiar?

I’m asking, of course, if y’all are having a bad time.

My dear friend Patty insists that everyone who’s anyone is currently flopping, hard: Dua Lipa (wearing kitten heels); Apple Podcasts (barely usable); Patrick Wilson (the new Insidious was bad); major airlines (one chocolate quinoa bite ISN’T A SNACK); the United States Democratic establishment (upholding a genocide).

I, too, am flopping in more ways than I can count.

On a good day, I feel proud of myself—proud of taking big creative swings, proud to have leveled up professionally in a way that makes pitching feel like high-stakes poker. On a bad day, I feel like I’m panning for gold in a river of half-dissolved turds, and I’m wearing those extra-long flare jeans everybody wore in 2005, and I’m trying to roll up the jeans but eventually I just let it go and then I have to walk home with my jeans all soggy and caked in turd.

Yesterday was a turd day (got bummer news, also our landlord called us to complain about the smell of the BROCCOLI we were COOKING??? are you SERIOUS???). I let myself wallow for a little bit; for me, wallowing looks like:

• honestly that scene from Twilight: New Moon when Edward kicks Bella to the curb and she stares out the window for like 8–10 months to the tune of Lykke Li’s “Possibility” HAHA

• eating rock-hard raw cookie dough out of the freezer

• staying up too late playing video games (Slay the Spire, NOT that it’s any of your BUSINESS)

Today? Today I am back at my desk. The only way out of a flop era is through, so I’m trudging forward like this beaver transporting carrots. Look at him go! He has so many carrots to carry!

It’s okay if right now feels bad, and it’s okay if that means you need to take a step back from creative work. I’m certainly not of the “write every day or else!!!” persuasion.

But, if you’d like to join me, here’s what I’ll be doing to bounce back from yesterday:

• drinking a lot of water because I was too busy playing video games to hydrate yesterday and I feel like Dry Spongebob

• cleaning out my inbox for that fresh, clean feeling

• giving myself a solid hour to brainstorm new ideas as proof that i can, in fact, develop new ideas

• writing some jokes because i need to make money

If you feel up to it, please comment with your own tactics for surviving the Flop Days!

Finally, consider this your reminder that the flop is temporary. I’m in it, maybe you’re in it, Tim Allen has been in it since 2002. Actually, no, Tim Allen’s flop state is permanent. But ours isn’t! RIP Tim </3

wipe the turd off your jeans and keep making big swings,

Lil

P.S. Next week, I’ll kick off a series of interviews with creative folks who are ~in the trenches~ working while navigating chronic illness, parenting, community organizing work—all kinds of hard life things. I can’t wait!!