Happy Tuesday to me, and also to thee!
The internet is good because you can stare at strangers, learn about bears, purchase a 4-pack of cheap rain ponchos while driving, and watch this 15-year-old YouTube video entitled “sexy bigfoot.” I’ve done all of these things in the last 24 hours because I am going Bigfoot hunting this weekend.
It’s a long story. The short version: I’m working on a secret project, and the Bigfoot Field Researchers Organization is graciously allowing me to join them on a three-day research expedition in the Minnesota wilderness. This will be my first sasquatch-related adventure; fortunately, I have enough outdoor acumen to keep myself alive for three days. I’ve had a few friends request my packing list, so I thought I’d share it here. We’ll get back to our regularly-scheduled creative malaise next week, unless I’m kidnapped by a handsome hominid. If that happens, you guys can have my clothes <3
what i’m bringing for a 3-day squatch watch:
I’m overpacking somewhat extravagantly because the Minnesota forecast is unpredictable this time of year; also, the actual Squatch Watch (my words, not theirs) occurs overnight, and everything is cold and wet in the woods at night. ALSO, the campsite is super remote, so I won’t have access to a shower or laundry facilities. I’ll be stinkin’. Stinkin’!
I’m packing everything in my favorite packing cubes from Calpak (highly recommend waiting for a Black Friday sale to snap up a set of these bad boys). I also have a set of Baggu Go Pouches to stay organized. I’m driving to the campground, so I’ll be using the backseat of my hatchback as a giant suitcase.
The basics: Camping Stuff
Tent (borrowed from my bestie Emily)
2 tarps (tarps are a girl’s best friend)
Duraflame fire starter logs (we’ll see if I end up using them—I’ve got a camp stove, and I may be too sleepy to go campfire mode) and long-stem lighter, plus extra matches
Sleeping bag and pillow
Sleeping pad
Camping lantern (I finally get to break in my LuminAID solar-powered lantern, I’m obsessed with this thing!!! It’s collapsible and is roughly the size of a legal pad at its flattest)
Camp chair AND portable stool (I have a folding chair for my campsite and this tiny and adorable tri-leg stool that I bought for night hiking with the BFRO folks. I’ve heard we’ll be doing a lot of quiet sitting in the woods; the stool has a shoulder strap and weighs, like, a pound.)
Big bowl/bucket (you never know when you’re gonna need a bucket)
Extra blankets and towels
Fun gear
I’m recording audio only, other than the occasional casual photo of the group. Do not ask me why! It is a secret!
Headlamp for night hiking (I have never needed a headlamp in my life, but now I’m imagining all sorts of possibilities for it. Apartment basement exploration? Putting it on my beagle and laughing at him?)
Tiny flashlight to supplement camping lantern
Fancy audio recorder (I have a nice H4n Pro 4-Input mic that I honestly should’ve purchased the minute I graduated from journalism school. I have a feeling it’s gonna get a lot of use this weekend)
Food n snacks
*note* – I’m not an experienced campfire cook, so I am keeping food VERY SIMPLE. We’re also having a group cookout the first night; otherwise, I’m going light on meat throughout the weekend. (My cooler also probably isn’t insulated enough to keep stuff safely cold beyond the 2-day mark.)
Camp stove, fuel, and cooking kit borrowed from my buddy Pat
Cooler + ice + ice packs
Apples
Peanut butter
Wee coffee mug
2 24-packs of bottled water for myself and anyone else who might need one, plus 2 extra jugs of water for washing up
My favorite Korean instant coffee (recommended by my buddy
a few years back)The beef jerky that has been sitting in my pantry for six months. It is time
Protein bars (Barebells, what else?)
Kodiak protein pancake cups for breakfast
Instant ramen/cup-o-noodles for lunches/dinners
Probably like five of these fuckers
Turkey and bread for sammies
Goldfish
Fruit snacks
Liquid IV
Toiletries
Far more toilet paper than anyone could want or need
Baby wipes (for ass and face)
Paper towels
First aid kit with extra Benadryl because it’s May
Sunscreen
Ant + roach barrier spray for the exterior of my tent
OFF! Deep Woods — no Lyme disease, please <3
Toothbrush and Lush toothpaste tabs (see below)
Hand sanitizer
Shampoo + body wash + face wash
Dry shampoo because I’m nasty
Clothing
It’ll be in the 30s and 40s at night, and we’ll be out there for hours without shelter. Do not come for my overpacking tendencies!!!
6 pairs big ol’ granny panties
1 pair long undies
2 pairs running shorts
3 sports bras
3 short-sleeved t-shirts
1 long-sleeved t-shirt
2 sweatshirts
My beloved Chicago Dogs minor league ball cap
1 bandana
2 pairs GapFit Runaround pants EVERYONE SHOULD BUY THESE. ASK ME ABOUT THESE PANTS
Spibelt running belt for hiking
5 pairs cotton socks / 5 pairs wool socks
Running shoes
Hiking boots
2 fleeces
1 pair hiking pants
4 disposable ponchos
2 beanies
2 pair gloves / 1 pair mittens
1 pair leggings
1 flannel
Chacos for daytime chilllin’
2 pairs sweatpants
Insulated vest
Puffer jacket
Misc. stuff
(The campsite sells firewood, but I may pick some up en route)
Extra batteries for recorder, flashlight and headlamp
Duct tape (to literally tape my pants closed to prevent tick bites)
Notebook + pens
Trash bags
Books (I’m reading The Hobbit, which feels appropriate)
Phone charger
Pepper spray (also a girl’s best friend, in addition to the tarp)
2 box cutters
Hand warmers
Lifestraw in case I have to drink from a puddle at some point, idk. You don’t need it ‘til you need it
that’s it!
Am I missing anything? Is this how I die? Anyone got any sasquatch tales? Leave ‘em in the comments :)
in squatchness and in health,
Lil
Bug-out bag solar powered lantern getting it's time to shine I see
Perfect list, we should compare backcountry camping gear I am all about this life. (I also collect sounds in the woods with an older model of that recorder! I have a lil archive!!)