don't quit your day job

an urgent dispatch from the freelance trenches

my beagle, archie, with his friend benny, neither of whom are gainfully employed

well well well another glamorous Tuesday

Some dudes are in my home repairing the gaping hole in my kitchen ceiling. I cannot enter the kitchen while the dudes are working. My kitchen is connected to my bathroom. There is so much pee inside of me. Is this how I die????? Anyway:

listen to me: day jobs rock

Creatively, I am at the top of my game while working a day job. I started writing and selling satire at 23, while working a taxing nonprofit job that regularly bled into my evenings, holidays, and weekends. I wrote my book over the course of two years and two digital media jobs—one that I loved, but couldn’t sustain on the $53,000 salary; another that I did not love, but could happily sustain on the $80,000 salary, until I was laid off.

I started this newsletter in the throes of that layoff, opting out of traditional employment in an effort to kickstart some creative projects. Since then, I’ve knocked out another book proposal, started a novel, grown this newsletter (thank you!!!), taught a class, performed around town, sold some jokes, and helped a bunch of kids cross the street. I’ve also managed to pay the bills, if barely, as a full-time freelancer.

Buddy, I cannot wait to get back to a day job.

This is the second time I’ve stepped away from traditional employment to focus on creative pursuits, and it is the second time I’ve realized this is not how I like to operate. (I also freelanced full-time from 2018–2020, two very lonely years for a chatty coworker such as I.)

To make it work as a full-time freelancer is to cobble together a professional mish-mash of opportunities. A Money Salad, if you will. Sometimes, the opportunities come all at once, creating a flood of jobs that add up to a lucrative month. Other times, you have one big, lucrative opportunity—teaching a successful class, for example—that pays the bills for an entire month. This level of mish-mashery does not leave a lot of room for creative juice. Architecturally speaking, juice cannot flow through a mish-mash. At least, not for me.

For some, the mish-mash might promote creativity, driving the artist to create via pure financial necessity. But even your best, most imaginative creative work doesn’t always sell. For freelancers, work that doesn’t sell = feeling bad at your job. I am not bad at my job, but there are larger forces at play—economic headwinds reducing freelance budgets, assigning editors getting laid off—that make it hard to sell work consistently. That is not a good situation for someone like me, a neurotic workhorse akin to Holly Hunter in Broadcast News. I miss having a job that I know how to do well, all the time.

Also, I want to walk into an office wearing lipstick. Yeah, I’ll say it! Sue me! I want to wear hard pants!!! anyway lmk if you’re hiring

and now for your weekly dose of treats:

Welcome to YEAH BABY YEAH, a weekly roundup of little treats to get you through your creative practice and/or stave off the darkness within. This week’s treats are as follows:

1. podcast for idiot girls: I have Poog fatigue at the moment, but I’m really loving Text Me Back!, the bestie-forward pod from Lindy West And Meagan Hatcher-Mays. I want to hang out with them!!!

2. crossbody for my various implements: I bought the BAGGU Camera Crossbody a few months back, and it is the perfect bag. It’s nice and structured, so you don’t have to worry about your stuff gettin’ squished; it has room for my iPhone, my gigantic school-issued crossing guard emergency cell phone, my sunglasses, and my various creams and lotions.

3. the perfect notebook: I’m on my third Shorthand task pad and oh BABY do I love these things. Check boxes on every line! Perfect for to-do lists/grocery lists/lists of my pets’ many illegal behaviors.

professionally,

Lil